Ending a relationship rarely feels simple, but according to relationship psychologist Claudia de Llano, author of The Seven Destinies of Love, there are times when walking away is the healthiest choice — and no reason for guilt.
Some of the clearest signals are about mismatch: fundamentally different long-term visions, clashing core values (such as whether to have children), or a partner who repeatedly crosses boundaries you’ve clearly stated, with no change despite conversation, time, or even therapy.
Others are about how the relationship makes you feel day to day — persistent unhappiness or anxiety, constant criticism that leaves you diminished, or the sense that you’re slowly losing your authentic self.
De Llano also flags the quieter traps: carrying all the emotional labour and planning alone, staying only to avoid being lonely, or staying simply because the idea of initiating a breakup feels frightening. Even a persistent gut feeling that something is wrong, she says, is worth taking seriously.
Her wider message is one of permission. “You never have an obligation to stay in a relationship you’re no longer invested in,” she says — adding that the guilt many people feel afterwards is a sign of a compassionate heart, not proof they made the wrong call.
